a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize