I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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