Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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