Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
