I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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