that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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