i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
