Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
