4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
