How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize