i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize