Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize