the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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