my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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