Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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