i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
