new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
