Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Randomize
