i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
