New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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