He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
