Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
