After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize