Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
