I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
