How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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