Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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