Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
