Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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