Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
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