i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
