Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize