Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
