her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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