He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
