People with herpes should wear stickers.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
