Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
