being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
