i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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