I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize