did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
