why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize