I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I love having hate sex.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
