Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
