I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
