Someone shit on the floor
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
