I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
