Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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