My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
