fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
