At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
