East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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