I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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